Recovery isn't linear

It looks like Chester will be discharged tomorrow from Rockyview. His hospital stay has had some ups and downs, as is normal for major abdominal surgery.

First he had to recovery from the effects of anethesia, which incuded some nausea and after-effects of having a catheter in for the surgery. Then his goal was to get walking and get his bowels moving again. (For the many who have asked if he has a "bag" now; No, he has some of his colon left and no external "poop bag.") The last day or two he's been working on getting off IV, and off some of the more major pain medications.

Here's a quick recap of the week: Friday: Lots of waiting and praying, Successful surgery, difficult night (nausea and pain).

Saturday: Tough day. Lots of pain, some evening nausea.

Sunday: Better day. Walks around the unit, watched church service with Anna, and energy for visiting with Pastor Geoff. Tough night with roommate changes/cleaning crews through the night.

Monday: Rough day. More walks, but still dialing in the right combo of oral vs. IV pain meds for more activity. Better evening/night.

Tuesday: Good so far. Energy still goes up and down, but off IV, better appetite and longer walks.

Sunday: A good day, and a good visit with a friend from Vancouver, Pastor Goeff Cortright

They say in Calgary, if you don't like the weather, "wait a few minutes" and it'll be different. Rain can turn quickly to a sunny afternoon, blue skies can turn to hail. If you were in Calgary, this week's weather was difficult to dress for! In the same way, it's been difficult to answer texts about "How is Pastor doing?" "Wait a minute," and his day could be quite different. Here's hoping this post helps explain some of the ups and downs. Last time Chester was discharged, we had the same types of ups and downs adjusting to home as well. Within a few weeks, we will be meeting with the cancer centre and there will be next steps, more ups and downs. We're learning to have more trust in the Lord in the "downs." Just as we wouldn't rush to ask "When will the weather warm up again?" in October, we can't rush this process. We don't know how long this "winter" of cancer will last. God-willing, there will be Chinooks (periods of warmth). There will likely be weeks of deep freeze. Perhaps we will get an El Nino and skip the worst of "winter" this year. Maybe the weather analogy breaks down here... Thanks for your patience and prayers for the possibly long and certainly unpredictable process of addressing this cancer. As we know more from the most recent biopsy in a few weeks, we will share more.

Special thanks this week to my mom, aka "Grama" for helping our family.

Here's the sermon text Pastor Geoff preached at St. Paul this Sunday. I was able to watch the service together with Chester from his hospital bed (good day). We thought it was a wonderful message for us and for everyone who is waiting on answers and mercy from Jesus.

Most of you maybe have heard that we gained a new family member a few months ago, in the form a puppy who we named Enzo. He’s cute and furry, and doesn’t shed. But he also is doing something that lots of puppies and older dogs do that we absolutely do not want or condone. He’s a beggar. You know when a dog stares into your soul with his big puppy dog eyes saying “You’re going to eat that delicious piece of chicken and not share with me?” Worse than that, because no one gives him anything when he begs, instead he has turned into what we call the “table shark”. You’re eating your dinner and if you look away for a second his head appears with full teeth looking to grab your sandwich, pizza or whatever and take it below like a shark. And rightly he gets yelled at and turned away because he doesn’t deserve to eat our dinner, nor should we share with him.

The Canaanite woman in Matthew 15 likewise finds herself begging at Jesus’ feet. Her daughter was possessed by an evil spirit, a demon. There was no one who could help her; there was nothing she could do. So she comes to Jesus falling at his feet and ending up being made to feel like she is the dog begging under the table for crumbs.

²¹ Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. ²² A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”²³ Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” ²⁴ He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” ²⁵ The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. ²⁶ He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”  

There are a number of surprising things going on in this story. First of all, why did Jesus leave Galilee his home region and go to the region of Tyre and Sidon where people didn’t even believe or worship the true God? In the verses before our story Matthew tells us it’s because the Jewish religious leaders had basically given Jesus the cold shoulder. They absolutely refused to believe in him and were very critical of all the ways he was breaking their numerous traditions.

But they get to this region and a woman whose parents and family most likely worshipped idols like the god Baal comes rushing to his feet. And she has no doubt about who Jesus is—“Lord, Son of David” she calls him. You don’t hear the Pharisees calling Jesus those names. But she also knows that there is a disconnect here. She is a Gentile, a foreigner, with no claim on the special privileges God had given Israel. She recognized that she had absolutely no reason to think that God should or would have favour on her.

And the whole awkward scene reinforces this point. Look at how the disciples responded to this woman coming to beg for Jesus’ help. His disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” They didn’t seem to think this woman was worthy of Jesus’ attention or help—they were actively trying to get rid of her. As bad as that was what about Jesus? Look at how Jesus is treating her. At first Matthew says he did not answer a word to her. He was just ignoring her pleas and cries. The response he finally gives her—“I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” The Jews are God’s sheep. They are his flock. But what about her. When she kept it up, “Lord help me!” his response seems even more cold and insulting, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” Ouch. This has to be the coldest shoulder he ever shows to anyone. She isn’t a sheep. She is with the dogs. She belongs under the table with Enzo or outside in the cold and dark.

But before we accuse Jesus of giving her the cold shoulder like the Pharisees were doing to him, it’s good to remember the way God sometimes tests the faith of his people. Not like giving someone a grade on a college entrance exam or a French test in grade 12. Most like the testing that comes when God puts us through the wringer to see if he can burn away the impurities and show the genuineness of our faith. There are all kinds of examples of this in the Bible such as when God tested Jacob’s faith in our first lesson in Genesis 32. Jacob was used to scheming his own way out of trouble, but one night he met God in a vulnerable moment and literally wrestled with God in prayer through the night. Finally he only lost when God touched his hip socket creating a permanent limp in him—meaning he would have to depend even more upon God’s protection in meeting his brother Esau again. This testing of Jacob’s faith led to him receiving the new name Israel—after which the nation got its name.

This is the kind of testing that Jesus was putting on this woman. He pushed her as far as she would go to see how her faith would respond:

“Lord, help me!” she said. ²⁶ He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”  ²⁷ “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” ²⁸ Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

Jesus was basically saying—I came for the sheep not the dogs, and guess what you are? But don’t you love this woman’s reply? She wouldn’t give up. She knew Jesus is her Saviour too and so she implores very simply, “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Basically she knew she had no right to anything at all, but all she needs are a few crumbs of mercy.

Enzo knows perfectly well that whatever falls from our table is better than the kibble in his bowl. And this woman believed something far greater: whatever mercy falls from Jesus' table is better than anything the world could give her. That is all she wanted. A taste, a bite. Whatever mercy Jesus may give her, is better than all the doctors, all the pagan priests, all the money the world could have. Because she believed and knew he is the Saviour from all evil, including the evil spirit possessing her daughter’s body. And this is what Jesus was looking for.

Sometimes my children who are privileged to sit at the table with our family, not on the floor with our dog—they too will ask for things from us as parents. And anyone who has been a parent knows what I’m about to describe. Namely that when your kids ask you for something there is a range, a spectrum of sincerity in how they ask. My daughter comes up to me and says, “Dad, can I have an iPad?” No! Why would I say yes to that? Children don't bargain their way into parental generosity; they ask because they know their parents love them. That is why this woman persisted to ask Jesus for his mercy.

This is what Jesus was looking for in her—he wanted to see her faith come out and he was not going to disappoint her. Even though crumbs of his mercy was all she dared to ask for, he wanted to give her so much more. Because if you call a crumb driving away the demon from her daughter with just a word, what is the full banquet?

We could be content if Jesus gave us only a few crumbs of God's mercy. But Jesus didn't come merely to drop a few morsels from God's table for us. He came to give sinners a place at the table. We had no right to demand it. We had nothing to bargain with. Yet at the cross Jesus gave us far more than crumbs. He gave himself. He took our sin and our place under God's judgment so that through faith we could receive his place in the Father's family—welcomed as sons and daughters, with a place at his eternal banquet. And even now he keeps giving us foretastes of that feast, including his own body and blood in the Lord's Supper.

The faith this woman had in Jesus shows us she recognized the crumbs she received from Jesus were all she needed, and they remain all we need also.

This week two examples jumped out at me of how we still come and plead at Jesus’ feet for crumbs of his mercy, just like the Canaanite woman.

The first was a former member of mine from Red Deer who reached out to me for the first time in over 12 years begging to speak to me. I’m going to call her Grace. Grace has had a difficult life, raised in an abusive family, and was with an abusive partner when she came to Mighty Fortress. She lost one of her children to a tragic accident and now one of her daughters in a place out in BC where she is fearing for her daughter’s life. Her pleas were exactly the same—“Lord, help me!” because no one would listen, and no one can help her me included.  But as we talked on the phone I shared this story with her, and prayed together with her at Jesus’ feet, she was consoled to remember the heart of the One who we are asking. While I cannot help her from BC, I am hopeful through our conversation to reconnect her with the brothers and sisters at Mighty Fortress in Red Deer.

Secondly, one of our Seminary professors in Wisconsin, Prof. Christie, wrote something this week on his social media because his family is going through a terrible difficulty. His wife Kristin suddenly became very sick. She needed open-heart surgery. The surgery went well, but afterward she did not wake up. Doctors believe she may have suffered some brain injury from a lack of oxygen. Prof. Christie wrote:

“We thank God for the crumbs of his mercy: She opened her eyes a few times today. We ask for your prayers—that she would come out of it soon and that the Lord would heal her heart and mind in ways that amaze. We thank God for the crumbs of his mercy.”

That's great faith too. Not because he knows God will give his family exactly what they are asking for, but because he knows the heart of the One he is asking. That's why we can come to Jesus just like this Canaanite woman did: “Lord, help me!”

We can beg him for whatever we need because even a crumb of his mercy is more than enough. And when his answer isn't the one we pleaded for, faith still has something even greater to cling to: the full banquet of his grace is already ours. There is a place waiting for us at the table, with Jesus our brother, Lord, and Saviour.

Amen.